Iceclad

I’ve joined up with team Nostalgia the Guild and have been adventuring with them for about a month now. Our goal is to experience the game again from an “old-skool” point of view. It didn’t work out exactly that way, but we’re still doing something quite incredible.

From the start, we were all so excited in planning this that some of the rules didn’t quite get translated well enough. We weren’t specific enough to say “Don’t do any of the Serpent’s Spine content at all!”. This new content provides uber XP and amazing gear that makes any of the old-world stuff look like a waste of time in comparison. With all of the new content being used to it’s fullest potential, the old content doesn’t really stand a chance. Barring terrible pulls *bows* we are basically invincible, if I do say so myself! It’s all good, as we are still having fun, and a lot of it! I’d rather be going back to see all of these things to slaughter them, rather than wipe to them.

One of the places we still had a hard time in, good gear or not, was Castle Mistmoore. This place was a hellhole back then, and after all these years a hellhole it remains! My biggest complaint was pulling. I’d walk down a hallway, see a gargoyle maybe 3 feet in front of me. I put an arrow in it’s crotch, and it comes a-runnin’ for me. Down the hall nearly 20 feet from it, 3 doors open and a flood of vampires come rushing to it’s aid. I wasn’t aware Vampires had closed-circuit crotch monitoring for their constructs, but apparently they knew their rocky friend’s pebbles had been breached and sounded the alarm.

Some of the Vampires in there are dressed…strangely. I think this particular coterie of night children thought it best to only harvest initiates from groups of seasoned female pro-wrestlers. Can’t say I blame them! What are YOU going to do with that stake and garlic when some bitch leaps from a coffin, flips you into a half-nelson, and starts shoving them up your ass? You’re going to enjoy it, because that’s your last experience in life ever, also you’re gay-curious.

We took out a few groups, but I unfortunately had to leave early…and with very little warning. I apologize again for that guys and gals but someone kicked my gargoyle in the groin and I had to go see what was the matter, post-haste. It was just a false-alarm, and I told my Vampire minute-men they could return to their sepulchers. I didn’t leave Castle Mistmoore without giving those blood-sucking bastards something to remember me by. She gave me her number, but I’m not going to call her. She knew what this was.

THE POWER OF SPANK-STICK COMPELS YOU!